I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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