OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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