like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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