you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
my poor anus
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
