so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
