Quick, to the slutcave!
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
