I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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