sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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