My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
