I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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