What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
