I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize