there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
