So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
