Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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