I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
i think my cat just said my name.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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