theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
