I CAN MOONWALK!
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize