and next time when you feel me up, do it right
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
