Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
