what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
