I think I just saw someone hide a body.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
she looked like the before picture.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
