I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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