Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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