ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
