only if we run a train.
done.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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