new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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