I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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