Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
