I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm both gender and math confused
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
