The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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