Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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