but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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