My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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