I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
