I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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