i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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