Define "chronic" masturbator.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
