This girl is more easily done than said...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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