i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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