My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
