People in love make me want to vomit
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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