I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
