Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
