that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
