Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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