i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
