Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You are a genius and a whore.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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