***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
