weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize