Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It's never too late to be topless.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
