East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
