Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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