After last night, I could never be a politician.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
