I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
