i just wanna soil my oats bro
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
