Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize