sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
