Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
