There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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