Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
