Reggie can tackle my bush.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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