How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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