I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
