The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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