Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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