Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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