how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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