It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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