He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
